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Grooming Tips for Men

Photo by Hean Prinsloo on Unsplash

You’re not the dude on the cover of Men’s Health. No need to cry into your bowl of Ruffles, big boy. There’s plenty you can do now to move a notch closer.

These tips seem like common sense but look around and see how many guys are not following them. Are you? I hope so. There’s no excuse to not follow these basics.

  1. Get a haircut.

A fresh haircut shows that you care about yourself, and few women are attracted to long comb-overs or fuzz on the back of a guy’s neck. If you are slightly balding (or beyond “slightly”), try a buzz cut. A buzz cut shows that you’re confident and low-maintenance. Also, it’s easy to keep neat and clean, which are the key words of this post. Neat and clean.If you opt for the buzz, go a tad longer on the top than on the sides. A number three on top with faded sides works well.

Bonus: If the barber asks, “Would you like me to trim your eyebrows?” take the hint and say, “Yes, please.”

  1. Trim your nails.

Weekly. And clean them, too. Are you a rough man, tough man? Good. Then use your pocket knife to clean them. “I love a man with grease under his nails,” are words that are never spoken by a woman you want to kiss.

  1. Wear clothes that fit.

Every day I see medium-sized dudes in XXL T-shirts or jeans that are five sizes too big. You know what you look like? A little boy wearing mama’s shirt as a night-gown. Grow up. Buy jeans that fit and buy them in the men’s section. And save your Texas Ranger’s T-shirt for the ball game. Instead, wear a solid, dark-colored polo shirt. If you must wear a T, get a couple of dark, solid colored T’s that fit. Try this—try them on and ask the lady working at the store, “Excuse me ma’am, but does this fit?” I’ve done it.

  1. Wear a belt.

Baggy jeans are only cool if you are a gangster from the 90’s under the age of 18. Not you anymore? Well, then get a belt.

  1. Wear clean shoes.

A clean, $10.00 pair of black canvas sneakers look much better than your dirty, worn-out name brand whatevers. I will never write a “Ten Pairs of Shoes That Every Man Must Have” post because few of us can afford ten pair of shoes. But you should have a nice, clean pair or two. Ladies notice shoes. Remember, no matter how nice you dress, a dirty pair of shoes can spoil the whole package.

  1. Grow some whiskers.

Neither sunken in cheeks nor pasty, saggy faces are attractive. Grow a beard, and then keep it neat and trimmed. Have clean neck and cheek lines. I’m not asking you to look like you’ve been drunk in a ditch for ten days. And by the way, “ten days” is significant. Studies show that many women prefer the ten-day beard to longer full beards or clean-shaven faces. If you do go for the clean-shaven look, then keep it clean and shaven.

  1. Floss.

Assuming you already brush your teeth twice a day, at least, I hope that you will add flossing. A lot of bad breath begins in the gums, and regular flossing can do wonders to help.

  1. Exercise.

You don’t need equipment or gym memberships to start running, doing pushups, or even walking. Just do something and do it regularly. If you want to look and feel good, this is essential. And no, going on a beer run or filling up your bowl of Cheez-its does not count.

  1. Be neat.

Big, unzipped jackets, untucked shirts with tails, unbuttoned dress shirts with T-shirts advertising your favorite beer, and ball caps for all occasions keep you looking like an unmade bed. Ditch the extra garb, tuck your shirt in, take off your cap, and look presentable.

Bonus: Sweats are for the gym or sleeping only. Flip flops are for the beach. Crocs are for never.

  1. Be clean.

Shower. Wash your face. Wash your hair. Wash your clothes. Yes, even your coats and jackets should be clean. Covering up stink with cologne does not work but only makes things worse. If you shower with real soap and wear clean clothes, you don’t need cologne. See? I’m already saving you money.

 

Men, which of these are you guilty of?

And ladies, we want to hear from you. What are your tips?

See also:

How to Look Intimidating

How Not to Look Like a Clown at the Summer Rodeo

Shaving with an Old-Fashioned Safety Razor

About Nowhere Tribune

A husband and daddy, striving to love his neighbors and be kind to his pets. I love good food, good beer, and a few good friends. My other interests are hiking, taking walks, lifting weights, reading books by manly authors like Hemingway and Twain, and splitting fire wood with my bare hands.

Discussion

14 thoughts on “Grooming Tips for Men

  1. Less than 10 pairs of shoes? How is this possible…. I have double that in sandals alone.
    Proof positive men really are from Mars…

    Posted by rivergirl1211 | April 19, 2019, 6:51 am
  2. Reblogged this on .

    Posted by Random Repeat | April 19, 2019, 7:26 am
  3. Damn. So I can’t count my steps when I refill my Cheez-it bowl.

    I think a plain, clean-cut look is about what most women want in a man’s looks. My wife was a beautician, and sometimes styled men’s hair. As far as she was concerned, this was a sign of vanity, and she didn’t like men who got their hair styled, or were otherwise overgroomed.

    Posted by Tippy Gnu | April 19, 2019, 11:39 am
  4. I would NOT date a man who has more pairs of shoes than I do. And that’s exactly 3 – one pair of trainers, one pair of flats and one pair of boots.

    But the most important tip (and one I sadly don’t see followed nearly often enough) is: gentlemen, make sure your breath smells fresh, in the name of all that’s holy! Yes, sir, I would love to kiss you (not you blogger, I don’t want anyone’s wife finding out where I live and coming to put me in my place), as long as your mouth smells like brushed teeth, not… some dead thing. I can ignore a lot of other fashion disasters, but at least smell good. >.>

    Posted by Jay | April 25, 2019, 7:57 pm
    • Ha. Thanks, Jay. Yeah, I may assume too much by assuming people brush twice a day. I was on the right track with the floss, though. Good tip.

      Posted by Nowhere Tribune | April 25, 2019, 7:59 pm
      • Yeah, I would hope everyone would, and throw in a daily shower. But you were definitely on the right track! Great tips!

        Posted by Jay | April 25, 2019, 8:02 pm
  5. I am convinced that you should teach a high school class, get the message out to young men before it’s too late! I see men, young and old, making many of the fashion mistakes that you point out, and wish that someone would do them a favour and give them some pointers. Truthfully I see some ladies making similar mistakes. Reading your post reminded me of a time many years ago when a young man sent me a drink at a bar, he had a ZZ Top beard. 😳

    Another hilarious but truthful post!

    Posted by Middle Aged Momma | May 3, 2019, 5:51 am

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